On New Year’s Day I took a chance and did an impromtu free

parent coaching call. I really didn’t expect anyone to call in

and at 5 past the hour no one had. Then one by one, parents

started calling and the next time I looked at the clock the allotted hour was up!

This is what parents wanted to know:

How to get young children to stop whining.

How to get young children to behave in school.

How to get teens to be respectful of step parents.

How to get siblings to stop fighting.

and more…

I answered all these questions and then even took

some of this offline into telephone calls. Here’s the cool

thing. The next day, I got several emails telling me that

what I had taught them, they had implemented and that

their children responded and behavior had improved

dramatically!

And 3 more parents signed up for the Powerful Parent Family Leadership Training Program!

 http://tinyurl.com/5akew6

That means that I really do have only a few spaces left. This cutting edge program begins in less

than 4 weeks. 

Anyway…Over the next few weeks…watch out for free parent coaching calls where you can get

the answers to your biggest parenting challenges!

Does this look familiar?

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Ten days until Christmas and Hannunkah!

It’s amazing how quickly this year has gone and all the changes that have occurred. Children have grown and changed, we are all another year older and hopefully wiser and the political and economic climate is balancing on a tightrope!

The one thing that is constant is HOPE. I have been talking parents everywhere and everyone says that this was necessary…kind of like a wake-up call. We are forced to look at what we do have and be grateful that it isn’t any worse.

What a great lesson for our children! ( I’m not saying that I’m okay with losing 1/2 my retirement or having to tighten my budget…but when you do it and you make it another month…it does feel like a huge accomplishment.)

In 2009, I am pulling together the most powerful and affordable parenting program- called The Powerful Parent Family Leadership Training Program. 

And tomorrow at Noon and 3pm EST,

Free Tele-Classes:

I will be talking about leading your children into success and I’ll also be available to answer any questions you may have about this program.

You have your choice of two times:
 
Tuesday, Dec.16 at 12 noon EST, 11 am Central,  9am PST,
Click this link to sign up.
http://tinyurl.com/5vmndh
 
or…
 
Tuesday, Dec. 16 at 3pm EST, 2pm Central,  12 noon PST
 
Click this link to sign up.
http://tinyurl.com/6q8dqw
 
   First time on a “tele-class”?
If so, let me tell you
what they are like.
 
   If you like talking on the phone
to your friends and enjoy a great
“gab session” and sometimes afterwards
you feel like the weight of the
world has been lifted off your
shoulders; that’s what this is like. Only…
 
   Instead of one friend on the line there will
be a small handful of us all talking about one of
the major parts of our lives…our kids!
 
  We will all get a chance to
listen and to talk (if you want to, you can also
just listen if that feels safer) and at the end
you’ll feel a whole lot better!
 
  All you have to do is call in at the right time and then
enter a code. But in addition to this you
can also choose to follow along on your
computer.
 
   You can even type your questions and comments
right into the website and I’ll answer them for you.
What could be simpler, right?
 
I hope you can make it! And please feel free to invite
other Moms and Dads…
 

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It’s already December 10, 2008, and for the past month I have been thinking back on 2008 and what I have accomplished. I attended a free tele-class yesterday  at  www.susanborkin.com. Susan is a writer, therapist and writer coach. The assignment was to make 3 lists.

1. What have I accomplished this year?

2. What did I start but not finish? (almost but not quite done)

3. What didn’t I do?

So I made my lists and I was quite amazed with what I had accomplished…published 2 books, made all my doctor’s appts…even had the dreaded 50 year old colonoscopy, crocheted a scarf and finished it!

What I hadn’t finished was stuff around the house that was bugging me: decluttering, raking the yard, getting my laundry room more functional.

What I didn’t do was get myself into a regular exercise routine and lose those 10 pounds that had crept up two at a time for the past five years.

Susan Borkin recommends having a dialogue with the thing that you didn’t do, or almost didn’t finish.

So here’s mine: to my body.

Me: “I tried over and over again to lose you.”

Body: “I know, you started and then you forgot about me..hurt my feelings.”

Me: “I know, It’s that other things kept getting in the way.”

Body: “It made me feel neglected and that you didn’t care.”

Me: “I’m sorry I hurt you, but this is soooooo hard.”

Body: “Try to think about it as a small project…1 lb at a time. Don’t think about 10.”

Me: “That sounds doable”

I can’t tell you how helpful this exercise was. I am back on…ready to enter the new year with a new commitment to my health!

So what does this have to do with parenting?

What did you accomplish with your kids?

What did you almost get done with your kids?

What didn’t you accomplish with your kids?

Now have a dialogue with something you didn’t follow through on with your kids or just plain didn’t deal with.

My new program will guarantee you results in getting it done this year…

Read on…

Well, I am planning a new program for parents. Parents who have started getting their kids on track..but get distracted and don’t follow through and are feeling bad about not doing what they know they need to do for their kids to be more respectful and helpful.

The Family Leadership Training Project…

read about it here: www.ParentingPowers.com/familyleadership.html

AND

Tonight, December 10, 2008, I will answer your questions about my new program:

Details about this free call:

EVENT: The Family Leadership Training Project - Q & A
DATE & TIME: Wednesday, December 10th at 8:00pm Eastern
http://instantTeleseminar.com/?eventid=5311434

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Is your family’s laundry an albatross around your neck? When and if you venture into your kids’ rooms, do you see a sea of clothing, wet moldy towels, science experiments growing on and around your beautiful set of kitchen dishes? Is it so horrifying that you would rather watch a the latest Stephen King film, than open that door?

And to top it off, do you have to beg, threaten and coerce to get your kids to hand over their  dirty clothing so that YOU can wash it? Once you give it back, neatly folded, stacked and “clean”, does it join the ranks of crumpled, and moldy before your child has put it on?

Did you know that you can solve this problem by outsourcing? And it won’t cost you a penny!

Here’s how to do it.

=> Purchase two laundry baskets for each child:
one white and one other color and place inside
their rooms.

=> Write out easy to understand instructions for
your laundry machine and dryer and tape them
to the front of your machines.

=> Have a field trip with your kids (11 and older) to
the laundry room.

=> Explain to your kids that they will
be in charge of their own laundry from now on.
including their towels and sheets.

=> Give a laundry lesson and tell your kids that
as they undress, the whites go in the white basket
and everything else into the other basket.

=> Assign your kids 1 or 2 days each week that
they will ‘get to’ use the machines.

=> Inform them that if they don’t transfer their
clothing from one machine to the other or
remove their clothing from the dryer that
they risk having it dumped on the floor
by the next person in line to wash clothes.

=> Do not bail your child out. Let them forget,
let them find their clothing on the floor, wet
and smelly.

You are teaching independence, accountability, respect and consideration for others. You are also teaching that all the household chores should not fall on one person (YOU). You are giving your children a gift for life. And at the same time, you get to stop nagging and you get free time and it didn’t cost you a penny!

If you liked this tip…check out Are You Tired of Nagging? Books, Audios and DVDS…right here on the blog!

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Thanksgiving has come and gone and some of you have found some of the best deals under the sun. But you still haven’t finished your shopping.  Money may be the tightest ever this year and you’ll have to be very choosy and picky about the gifts you give.

I’d like to help you out. I will be giving away copies of my newly published book,
“The Cat Who Lost Its Meow.’

All you need to do is these few steps…

1. Go to my site and request my free report…How to Take Back Your Parenting Powers.
2. Make sure you check your email to confirm.
3. Then come back to my blog and respond to this post by telling me a time when you experienced a loss in your life and how creativity, connecting or giving back helped in your healing process.

I will pick 3 people who will receive a free copy of ‘The Cat Who Lost It’s Meow’ and also post your comments and links to your site on my blog.

This giveaway expires by Wednesday, Dec. 3, Midnight, EST

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   Home stretch after the long Holiday Weekend. Cooking, company, shopping, kids, kids, kids! Maybe it is only 8am on Sunday morning and your nerves are already frazzled. How do you stay calm? When getting your child to respect you sometimes in the repeating over and over again, “You will not speak to me that way”, you might notice that your blood pressure is starting to rise. Or the 5th time you have brought your child back to time out and s/he is still wiggling and screaming…you start to feel a yell coming out of you. (Maybe you even say…”If you don’t stay in time out then no TV for the rest of the day!”

   Anger is one of the hardest things to control for your child and yes, for you!  So I want you to keep saying to yourself:”This is not about me trying to have power over my child; this is about me teaching my child how to control anger and impulsivity. Then go get the “post its” and write the following on them:

• I am a calm parent
• I teach impulsivity control
• I have a peaceful home
• I am most powerful when I am calm
• I am the “child whisperer”

   Now put these post its all over the house..fridge, mirrors, walls, everywhere you can think of. Use this simple technique to stay calm and watch the magic unfold…

   The #1 best way to teach children is through example. So if you show your child just how calm
you can stay your child will follow your lead.

Are You also Tired of Nagging? Want kids to clean up their rooms and do their chores without being asked hundreds of times..and with a smile on their face?  Who wouldn’t want that?

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I have to say that next to Passover, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love getting together with family without the “gifts”.

I usually look for a story or quote to read at the table before we eat. We stay at the table long after the food is gone and tell stories and jokes. My dad who is 87 tells the best jokes and I swear some of them I have never heard before and others we beg him to tell again and again.

The menu:

• Turkey of course with mom’s stuffing.
• We like real cranberry sauce, not the kind in the can but the real deal.
• Creamed baby onions.
• Candied sweet potatoes made with maple syrup! Yum
• Apple pie.
• A couple of bottles of great wine.
• Pre dinner…it’s usually shrimp and my dad’s famous cocktail sauce.

If it’s cold enough we light a fire in the fire place.

This year we’ll call the kids on skype and maybe have a virtual meal with them…they are in
Germany…

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Last night on my Cable TV Show, The Parenting Power Hour, my guest, Beverly Carr, LCSW and I discussed holidays and the stress they can have on families. Some of the stressors that came up were:

• Divorce
• Anniversary of a death in a family
• Military who are not home for the holidays
• Family Conflict
• Finances
• Kids schedules thrown off
• Parents who have to work between Christmas and New Years and scramble for child care
• and a lot more.

But one thing that seemed to be a theme was ‘Family Tradition’. Having something that remains the same each holiday creates structure and memories for children. I shared that at Thanksgivng we always eat the same foods prepared in the same way…My mom has tried a few times to change the stuffing recipe but the protest at the table can be heard for miles..She has given up. We like it the way we had it it as kids and now my kids like it that way, too.

In fact, my kids won’t be home for Thanksgiving this year, they are both studying in Germany! A few days ago my daughter called Grandma and asked her to send all recipes for the Thanksgiving meal. When I spoke with my son yesterday they were already planning the meal..minus the turkey (they are veggies)…but everything else will stay the same.

What are your family traditions? Please comment and share.

If you don’t have any perhaps you’ll get some ideas from some of the comments!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Recently I have been speaking to parents about how their evenings are structured. What I found out was interesting…

Parents who work out of the house…tend to give their infants a later bedtime..somewhere around the time they go to bed themselves. They tell the child care providers to let baby sleep as long as s/he needs to in the morning and throughout the day.

Nothing like it...

Some parents believe that if the baby is “really tired” the baby will sleep through the night and later in the morning.

I guess I can see the logic in this but still I was skeptical. We humans are programmed to sleep when it is dark and be awake when it is light. Ask anyone who works the nightshift how difficult it is…and they will tell you that they are exhausted all the time.

So I went searching and found some info that those of you who are interested can take a look at….
http://babyparenting.about.com/cs/sleeping/a/earlybedtime.htm

So let’s talk about what you parents are doing and let’s figure out collectively what is best…

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Can you believe that it’s that time of the year again?

  The Holidays can stir up all kinds  of feelings. Perhaps you are getting a bit excited in the planning of the next 6 weeks… or maybe you are putting it off because you are dreading all the hassles and stresses associated with the holidays with your kids.

Some common problems for families that I have worked with are:

• Financial problems-  you don’t have enough money to have the kind of holiday you want. Or knowing that you are going to spend too much money and the next 6 months you will have to pay it back and your credit cards will be more out of control than ever.
• Divorce/Separation- Who has the kids this year? And if you don’t have your kids, what are you doing?
•  Loss- it is the anniversary of the death a loved one and the whole idea of the holidays is completely depressing.
• Not being appreciated- it’s been a tough year and you feel you want to make it up to the kids and you make lots of plans and try to do fun stuff and the kids keep rolling their eyes and complaining “I don’t wanna go there or do that …it’s boring..it’s lame…whatever…!”
• Family Stress- having to make the rounds to all the grandparents and relatives and feeling completely wiped out and aggravated about the whole thing.
• Feeling Overwhelmed- wanting to change the way you celebrate the holidays, (scale down, or even take the family and go away somewhere warm). But you feel that you cannot break with tradition for fear of upsetting kids/relatives/etc.

 

  I want you to know that it is YOUR holiday season. You have a right to celebrate it any way you want to. You have a right to take it back and make it meaningful to you.

  So…

1. Make it fun (if it doesn’t feel fun, don’t do it)
2. Simplify (more is not better- more is more work)
3. Make a budget and stick to it (no resentment or guilt about what spent later on.)
4. Relax (build in down time and if you can take vacation, do it.)
5. Connect (talk to and spend time with your kids)

Wishing You a Peaceful Home and Peaceful Holiday Season,

Your Parent Coach,

Susan

860-437-0233 

P.S. If you haven’t seen my new site…have a look. www.ParentingPowers.com

P.P.S. Check out the new products…Especially The Cat Who Lost Its Meow…great book for kids of all ages.

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